Chief
Chief of Sinners.
If you're in a dark place right now, I need you to know something: some of the greatest people in Scripture wanted to die. They sat in ashes, couldn't eat, begged God to take their lives, and felt completely abandoned. And God didn't rebuke them for it - He met them there.
Stop trying to spiritually bypass your body's needs. God's first response to Elijah wasn't a sermon; He sent an angel with food, water, and permission to sleep. Then more food. Then rest. Your body and soul are connected. Eat something today. Drink water. Sleep if you can. These aren't optional.
Read Psalm 88 - it ends in darkness with no neat resolution. "Darkness is my closest friend" is literally the last line. And it's Scripture. God can handle your anger, your questions, your tears, your "I can't feel you anymore."
Tell God the raw, unfiltered truth. Write it down if speaking feels impossible. "I can't feel you. This is unbearable. I don't see a way out. I'm angry. I'm scared. Where are you?" God is not fragile. He gave you the book of Lamentations as permission to grieve.
Hannah withdrew from the feast. David hid in caves. Job's friends showed up (and then made things worse, but they showed up). God's pattern is to correct our isolationist thinking and bring help through community.
Text one person. Just one. You don't have to explain everything. "I'm not doing well" or "I'm struggling" is enough. If you can't do that today, write down the person's name right now and commit to reaching out tomorrow. If you have no one, go to google and search "[country] depression helpline/hotline". There are people whose job is to be that person for you.
Write down the worst thoughts - the catastrophizing, the "always" and "never" statements, the certainty that this will last forever or that you're beyond help. Then write beside them: "This is what I feel. It might not be what is true." You don't have to believe the alternative yet. Just acknowledge the difference between feeling and fact.
Jeremiah, in the pit of Lamentations (amid total devastation) stops and makes this choice: "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:21-23). Hope is an act of will in the darkness.
Write down one thing God has done before. One time you made it through. One moment you felt His presence. One prayer He answered. Even if it feels distant now, write it down. When your mind spirals to "He's forgotten me," you have something concrete to point to: "But He showed up then."
Hannah stopped eating. David's depression manifested physically. Your mental health affects your body; your body affects your mental health.
If you're able, see a doctor. Tell them what's happening. The same God who created the spiritual practices also created brain chemistry, therapy, and medication. Antidepressants aren't a failure of faith any more than insulin is. God works through doctors, counselors, and medication. Don't let shame or bad theology keep you from help.
God eventually rebuked Job's friends and vindicated Job's honest cries. God didn't give philosophical answers to "why". He revealed His majestic presence, showing He's big enough to handle our questions and anger.
If you're suffering, you don't need people with all the answers. You need people who will sit with you, bring you food, not judge your tears. Avoid "comforters" who make it about your lack of faith.
If your friend is suffering, show up. Bring food. Listen. Say "I'm here" more than "God is teaching you something." Sometimes the ministry is just being present, like God was with Elijah in the gentle whisper.
Hannah made a specific prayer. David remembered specific moments. Jeremiah wrote down his pain, giving it form and words.
What's one tiny fragment of normalcy? A five-minute walk? One worship song? Reading one psalm? Texting one friend? Not the full routine you can't manage, just one fragment. Do that today if possible. Just that. Tomorrow, maybe that one thing again.
Every one of these stories had a turn. Not always quick. Not always the way they expected. But the darkness didn't have the final word.
You don't have to see the way out to take the next step. Just the next one. Next breath. Next hour. Next day. That's all. Faithfulness in the dark counts. Surviving counts. Choosing to stay, even when you don't want to, counts.
The same faith that produced Elijah's miracles also produced his suicidal despair. The same heart that wrote "The Lord is my shepherd" also wrote "How long will you hide your face from me - forever?" The same woman who birthed Samuel wept and couldn't eat.
You can be faithful and depressed. You can love God and want to die. You can be called by God and completely overwhelmed. Depression is part of the human experience, even for the faithful. These stories normalize deep emotional and spiritual struggle and free us from shame.
The darkness you're in has been walked before. Saints and prophets have sat where you're sitting. And they found (sometimes after very long nights) that God hadn't left. He was in the darkness too, waiting with gentle presence, ready to provide bread and water, ready to listen to the lament, ready to whisper that you are not alone.
Take the next small step. Ask for help. Keep breathing. Articulate your pain to God for He can handle it. Remember one true thing. Choose hope as an act of will, even if you can't feel it yet.
The story isn't over. Morning is coming.
The People Who Walked This Road Before You
- Elijah sat under a broom tree and said, "I've had enough, Lord. Take my life" (1 Kings 19:4). This was immediately after his monumental victory over the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. Success didn't immunize him from despair. He was exhausted, isolated, and believed he was the only faithful one left.
- David wrote, "How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?" (Psalm 13:1). His psalms are a raw journal of his soul. He felt abandoned by God, overwhelmed by enemies, and crushed under the weight of his own guilt. "My tears have been my food day and night" (Psalm 42:3). He experienced physical symptoms: wasted bones, dried-up strength, being "feeble and utterly crushed" (Psalms 31, 32, 38).
- Job cursed the day he was born after losing his children, wealth, and health. He sat scraping his sores with broken pottery and said, "I prefer strangling and death rather than this body of mine" (Job 7:15). His depression was catastrophic, circumstantial, and made worse by friends who blamed him and offered simplistic explanations.
- Jeremiah, the "weeping prophet," cried out, "Cursed be the day I was born!" (Jeremiah 20:14-18). Called to deliver messages no one wanted to hear, he endured rejection, loneliness, and persecution. He never abandoned his calling, but it brought him immense, unrelenting sorrow. His entire book of Lamentations is a poetic masterpiece of grief.
- Hannah was so depressed from barrenness and social provocation that she wept and would not eat (1 Samuel 1:7). Her soul was full of "bitterness and anguish." She prayed so fervently that the priest thought she was drunk. Her pain was relational, social, rooted in unmet longing.
- Jonah and Moses both literally asked God to kill them (Jonah 4:3; Numbers 11:15). Jonah said it twice.
Here's What Their Stories Teach Us
1. Depression Doesn't Disqualify You - Even Spiritual Giants Crash
Elijah's breakdown came right after calling down fire from heaven. High points of achievement or spiritual victory can lead directly into emotional and physical collapse. Depression can follow success, especially when we're running on empty.Stop trying to spiritually bypass your body's needs. God's first response to Elijah wasn't a sermon; He sent an angel with food, water, and permission to sleep. Then more food. Then rest. Your body and soul are connected. Eat something today. Drink water. Sleep if you can. These aren't optional.
2. Honest Lament Is Not a Lack of Faith - God Welcomes It
The Bible has a whole category of prayer called "lament." David modeled it constantly - pouring out his true feelings of abandonment, fear, and sorrow directly to God. "Why are you cast down, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?" (Psalm 42:5).Read Psalm 88 - it ends in darkness with no neat resolution. "Darkness is my closest friend" is literally the last line. And it's Scripture. God can handle your anger, your questions, your tears, your "I can't feel you anymore."
Tell God the raw, unfiltered truth. Write it down if speaking feels impossible. "I can't feel you. This is unbearable. I don't see a way out. I'm angry. I'm scared. Where are you?" God is not fragile. He gave you the book of Lamentations as permission to grieve.
3. Isolation Is a Lie - You Are Not Alone
Elijah believed he was the only faithful one left. God corrected him: there were 7,000 others. Depression lies to us about isolation, convincing us we're uniquely broken, that no one would understand, that we'd burden others.Hannah withdrew from the feast. David hid in caves. Job's friends showed up (and then made things worse, but they showed up). God's pattern is to correct our isolationist thinking and bring help through community.
Text one person. Just one. You don't have to explain everything. "I'm not doing well" or "I'm struggling" is enough. If you can't do that today, write down the person's name right now and commit to reaching out tomorrow. If you have no one, go to google and search "[country] depression helpline/hotline". There are people whose job is to be that person for you.
4. The Feelings Are Real But Often Lying About Reality
David felt like God had forgotten him forever. Elijah felt like the only faithful one. Job felt like God was tormenting him. They felt these things intensely, genuinely. The feelings weren't accurate.Write down the worst thoughts - the catastrophizing, the "always" and "never" statements, the certainty that this will last forever or that you're beyond help. Then write beside them: "This is what I feel. It might not be what is true." You don't have to believe the alternative yet. Just acknowledge the difference between feeling and fact.
5. Choose to Remember - The Pattern from Despair to Hope
Many of David's psalms follow a specific pattern: Despair → Remembrance → Hope. He starts in pain, then actively, deliberately remembers God's past faithfulness (Psalm 42:4-6), and that becomes the foundation for choosing trust again.Jeremiah, in the pit of Lamentations (amid total devastation) stops and makes this choice: "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:21-23). Hope is an act of will in the darkness.
Write down one thing God has done before. One time you made it through. One moment you felt His presence. One prayer He answered. Even if it feels distant now, write it down. When your mind spirals to "He's forgotten me," you have something concrete to point to: "But He showed up then."
6. Healing Is Holistic - Address the Whole Person
God addressed Elijah's physical needs (food, rest), his emotional needs (listening without condemnation), his faulty thinking (you're not alone), and gave him community (Elisha) and purpose (anoint these kings).Hannah stopped eating. David's depression manifested physically. Your mental health affects your body; your body affects your mental health.
If you're able, see a doctor. Tell them what's happening. The same God who created the spiritual practices also created brain chemistry, therapy, and medication. Antidepressants aren't a failure of faith any more than insulin is. God works through doctors, counselors, and medication. Don't let shame or bad theology keep you from help.
7. Presence Over Platitudes - What Job's Friends Got Wrong
Job's friends are called "miserable comforters" for a reason. They theologized his pain, blamed him for his suffering, and offered simplistic explanations. They teach us what NOT to do: avoid blaming, lecturing, or trying to "fix" someone's pain with clichés.God eventually rebuked Job's friends and vindicated Job's honest cries. God didn't give philosophical answers to "why". He revealed His majestic presence, showing He's big enough to handle our questions and anger.
If you're suffering, you don't need people with all the answers. You need people who will sit with you, bring you food, not judge your tears. Avoid "comforters" who make it about your lack of faith.
If your friend is suffering, show up. Bring food. Listen. Say "I'm here" more than "God is teaching you something." Sometimes the ministry is just being present, like God was with Elijah in the gentle whisper.
8. Small, Concrete Tasks When Everything Feels Impossible
After meeting Elijah's needs, God gave him simple, manageable assignments: Go to Damascus. Anoint Hazael. Anoint Jehu. Find Elisha. Not "fix everything" or "feel better now." Just the next small, concrete thing.Hannah made a specific prayer. David remembered specific moments. Jeremiah wrote down his pain, giving it form and words.
What's one tiny fragment of normalcy? A five-minute walk? One worship song? Reading one psalm? Texting one friend? Not the full routine you can't manage, just one fragment. Do that today if possible. Just that. Tomorrow, maybe that one thing again.
9. The Darkness Has an End Date You Cannot See
Job couldn't see chapter 42 when he was in chapter 3. David didn't know which psalms of deliverance he'd write while he was writing psalms of despair. Elijah had no idea God was sending Elisha as his companion and successor. Hannah didn't know Samuel was coming.Every one of these stories had a turn. Not always quick. Not always the way they expected. But the darkness didn't have the final word.
You don't have to see the way out to take the next step. Just the next one. Next breath. Next hour. Next day. That's all. Faithfulness in the dark counts. Surviving counts. Choosing to stay, even when you don't want to, counts.
What to Do When You Can't Do Anything
If you're in the place where even these steps feel impossible, where reading this feels like instructions for someone else, here's what I need you to know:- Just surviving today is enough. Job sat in silence with his friends for seven days before anyone spoke. Sometimes enduring is the victory.
- Call for help now. Search on google, "[country] mental health hotline" and find contacts near you. They've heard it all. You won't shock them. You won't burden them. This is literally why they exist.
- Get to a safe person or place. If you're not safe alone, tell someone: "I'm having really dark thoughts and I'm not safe by myself right now."
- Go to an emergency room if needed. They will not judge you. They will help you.
The Pattern God Shows Us
In almost every story of biblical depression, God's response included:- Meeting physical needs first (food, water, rest)
- Listening without condemnation or lectures
- Providing specific, gentle care
- Giving small, manageable direction
- Correcting isolation by sending help through others
- Revealing a purpose or hope that couldn't be seen in the darkness
A Final Word
The enemy wants you to believe you're uniquely broken, that this darkness proves something fundamentally wrong with you, that you've failed God or He's abandoned you. That's a lie straight from hell.The same faith that produced Elijah's miracles also produced his suicidal despair. The same heart that wrote "The Lord is my shepherd" also wrote "How long will you hide your face from me - forever?" The same woman who birthed Samuel wept and couldn't eat.
You can be faithful and depressed. You can love God and want to die. You can be called by God and completely overwhelmed. Depression is part of the human experience, even for the faithful. These stories normalize deep emotional and spiritual struggle and free us from shame.
The darkness you're in has been walked before. Saints and prophets have sat where you're sitting. And they found (sometimes after very long nights) that God hadn't left. He was in the darkness too, waiting with gentle presence, ready to provide bread and water, ready to listen to the lament, ready to whisper that you are not alone.
Take the next small step. Ask for help. Keep breathing. Articulate your pain to God for He can handle it. Remember one true thing. Choose hope as an act of will, even if you can't feel it yet.
The story isn't over. Morning is coming.
- "He does not faint or grow weary... He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength." (Isaiah 40:28-29)
- "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)